The Misery Diet Diaries

THE MISERY DIET DIARIES!!!!Ok...so i look in the mirror, and realise that i have turned into a huge fat whale, with no shape and so many chins i am thinking of charging them rent!! My asss is so big each cheek is in a different postal (zip)code area :(So i get on the scales, and it tells me one person at a time please !!!...OH MY GOD.....this girl has to do something....SO ........

******************THE DIET STARTED TODAY**********************

BREAKFAST So breakfast was a rather gross probiotic yoghurt with some made up "good bacteria" in it ...digestivus bifidus crapppius i think it was called....clearly some by product of the plastic making process :)....so after having that at 7.30...i felt full up until..... ohhhh at least 7.33!! so i sat miserable and hungry at my desk until 11...clock watching...and begging for it to be time to have some form of real food hee hee..Elevensies.I braced myself for the snack i had brought to work, and let me tell you ....after that yogurt....you wouldnt believe how fantastic a cherry tomato and a Ryvita tastes.....i actually enjoyed the Ryvita...once i stopped eating the mouse mat in error and continued on with the Ryvita.Clearly i was now bursting at the seams!!Lunch 12.30After my royal feast of cardboard...i mean ryvita and a cherry tomato...i wasnt sure i would manage lunch...but i opened my pink tub of glorious salad....and the smell was horrific....how can char grilled chicken pieces smell so vile after only a couple of hours in a box!! anyway i scoffed down my other Ryvita....hmmmm i am losing interest in Ryvita already.

I think i might be frisky tomorrow and have rice cakes instead....just not sure if peaking so soon is wise, Rice cakes were meant for wednesday...but what the h£ll i am a free agent...i might just take that risk!!1.30 In a meeting...it turns out my stomach had more to contribute than my brain...rumbled all the way through it....but at least this time i had some form of input :)

3 o'clock.Ok its now 3pm, and i have been to the gym in my lunch hour....surprising how little time it takes to eat a lettuce leaf and some carrot actually, so thought i would go to kill the time i would normally be spending supping a latte with waaaayyy too many sugars in it while devouring a chocolate brownie...or similiar while chatting with friends.It was the fantasy of doing just that, that kept me running on that tread mill!!I caught sight of myself in a mirror hmmmmm ....Funny i dont remember looking that bad in lycra before!! thank god the place was quiet...or i may have been arrested for having an offensive weapon(my body) in a public place.

So My 3pm treat is a mandarin and a pear...not bad at all.....but as usual everyone goes to the vending machine at 3pm..so i took the stairs..and wandered down all 4 flights to be met at the bottom by everyone getting out of the lift....pressed my nose up against the glass pane and peered through to the delights that waited within...i stood dreaming of just how good a snickers would be right now and drifted off into a dream land....when i came round 5 minutes later, a large queue had formed behind me, and there was some tutting involved too, so i thought i better make good, so pretended i had forgot my change and tried to make a quick get away, just casting back for one quick glance of the fat,sugar and lard filled delights....and wandered back up the 4 flights of stairs .....ALONE.I make it through the afternoon without collapsing...which i think is something of a feat in itself.I go back to the gym, just to re itterate how terible i do look in lycra..and decide jogging bottoms will be a more humane option for tomorrow, after a second work out, i get changed and throw away the unforgiving lycra outfit into the bin....i know tomorrow i will see a homeless guy in a baby pink pair of leggins and a black overthong...looking like olivia newton john, and i shall smile to myself..as he is bound to look worse even than me in it!!!
So it gets to dinner time, and i push the boat out and have another 2 ryvita and some cottage cheese...now these ryvita must have crack in them, as i am starting to enjoy them....shame the same cant be said for cottage cheese huh!!So i have made it through the first day...and i am still alive :)
Calories 885
Choc fantasies 885
kisses 0..........this better go up as my weight goes down lol.
Thanks for reading xxx